🦃 SPECIAL THANKSGIVING APPEAL: If every reader gave just $3, we could afford to test our own office water supply. Please, we're begging you.
Thursday, November 27, 2025 • Vol. LXIX, No. 420 • Price: Your Health

HuckFinn

America's Finest Newspaper • "We Print What Others Won't Swallow"
BREAKING: Study Confirming Mass Poisoning Retracted For Being Too Accurate DEVELOPING: 98% of Americans Have Forever Chemicals In Blood; Other 2% "Probably Just Haven't Been Tested" UPDATE: Turkey Pardons America For What It Has Done To Itself EXCLUSIVE: Scientists Recommend Eating Contaminated Deer "Only Once A Month" — Finally A Diet America Can Stick To JUST IN: "Population Groundswell Mitigation" Now Official Cause Of Study Retraction BREAKING: Study Confirming Mass Poisoning Retracted For Being Too Accurate DEVELOPING: 98% of Americans Have Forever Chemicals In Blood; Other 2% "Probably Just Haven't Been Tested" UPDATE: Turkey Pardons America For What It Has Done To Itself EXCLUSIVE: Scientists Recommend Eating Contaminated Deer "Only Once A Month" — Finally A Diet America Can Stick To JUST IN: "Population Groundswell Mitigation" Now Official Cause Of Study Retraction
🔴 Breaking News • Environmental Catastrophe • Thanksgiving Special

Nation Celebrates Thanksgiving With Traditional 'Do Not Eat' Advisory Released Morning Of

Study Counting Deaths From Forever Chemicals Retracted After Finding Too Many Deaths

🦃
☢️ ⚠️ ☣️ 🧪 ☠️
Turkeys walk across a field in Kennebunk, Maine, blissfully unaware they have become federally-recognized biohazards just in time for America's favorite holiday. Photograph: Gregory Rec/Portland Press Herald via Getty Images | CONTENT WARNING: Image may contain up to 14,000 parts per trillion of PFAS and unlimited irony. Viewer discretion is advised but probably pointless since you've already been exposed.
By CHESTER "CHET" WRONGWAY, Environmental Catastrophe Correspondent
Additional reporting by MARGARET DOOMSCROLL | Graphics by INFOGRAPHIC STEVE
November 27, 2025, 6:47 AM EST • Updated 47 times as situation got worse